The ground under them was never firm after they met Larry Ray, Levin says;he wonders if it ever will be. DBLEveryone’s life is a story they tell themselves: who you are, what you want, what has happened to you. I encountered a man who was better than me at telling that story, who was such a compelling storyteller that I began to believe his version of my identity, my desires, and my memories more than my own. My version was, to be fair, not very robust at the time. Writing this book wasn’t just about setting the record straight or telling my story as I experienced it—it was about claiming that my account matters. That what I experienced and how I felt about it—my perspective—is valid, and my perspective is valid. It sounds kind of like a cult, Dan,” his father said. “Sometimes, when you talk this way, it sounds like you’re brainwashed or something.”

Levin also reflected on the documentary, and said that he hopes it'll prompt viewers to start a "deeper conversation" about cults and what they are. I decided early on in the process of writing this that shame is a tool that men like this use to keep people that they've hurt quiet. If I embraced who I was, who I am — which is someone who experienced this abuse, who survived and who is here now to stand by my account — if I took that shame and turned it inside out and made it my power, then I could live. But continuing to hide and to let the shame that was really him, that was his voice, dictate how I live my life and what story I told about myself, then I would never really get to fully live my own life. I think it is challenging to watch, but I hope that it means that people encounter the reality of these things that do happen in our world, that have been around us all the time, and I think it's worth remembering that Lawrence Ray took those videos because he wanted to use them against us and the fact that we now get to use them against him, and use them to help other people, is incredibly empowering." On Larry Ray's Abuse I think that if she reached out to me I would be curious to have that conversation. But it's really hard for me to imagine what her experience is, and I feel a lot of compassion for someone who has lived with Larry Ray since she was a baby, I can't imagine that." There's a real sense of freedom on campus, which I think has a lot of positives," Levin said. "And there can be a big negative consequence, like this one." 'Honeyboy' and 'honeygirl'The process of trying to answer that question, to arrive at a clear definitive answer to who is this man, or even what are his intentions, was for me kind of a trap. If you spend your energy trying to figure out who your abuser is or if they're a good person, you're not leaving. The thing on the other side of the scale that outweighs everything is, he was the person who was hurting me and I didn't deserve that. I'm thinking a lot about how we can take this experience and try to do the most good with it and create community for other survivors," he shared. "I think there's lot of talk about abuse, and there's not maybe as much talk about recovery."

When Larry Ray was charged on Feb. 11, 2020, the first question many people asked — including Sarah Lawrence President Cristle Collins Judd, in a college-wide letter — was: How could the college not know a father was living on campus for nearly a year?

As far as the specifics of what Larry did, "what we present is a fraction of what happened," Heinzerling said, "but ultimately the story was more about how it happened. How do you get an audience to understand what it's like to be 18, 19—that period of your life where you're seeking answers. And also, what does love-bombing look like? What does gaslighting feel like? This harrowing memoir not only recounts what happened from the observant, insightful poet who lived through it, but also explores the how and why. It’s a moving, lucid testimony, as much about the abuse of power as it is about the power of storytelling.” —Grace Talusan, author of The Body Papers Powerful. . . . A poetic and intimate memoir of a harrowing ordeal. Any reader interested in the workings of cults or the experiences of people in cults will find this book worthwhile.” — Library Journal From the Publisher I need to be there, to be better,” the voice said. “This feeling I’m calling ‘nervous’ is evidence of exactly that, that I need him to help me.”

In a searing article for New York Magazine, Marcus and Walsh included an excerpt from a psychological evaluation of Ray that he underwent during his custody battle. When I talked to those reporters and time went on, I was thinking more about it. First of all, for myself, I wanted that not to be true. I thought that if I wrote this book maybe it would mean that people would understand this experience a little bit better and breach that gap, not just for me, but for my friends. There's a support group in New York that I went to for people who had escaped cults and that helped democratize my understanding or complicate my understanding of what a cult survivor is or what a cult is. There were people in those support groups that were in what most people would describe as an abusive partnership, but we were talking about it in terms of cult dynamics. All of this helped me see myself inside of this a little bit more. You dedicated the book, “to the friends I cannot reach.” Are you hoping you can reach them through this? There were a lot of things that were really challenging about writing it. In some ways, writing the book was less challenging than the process — and I’m having a great time talking to you — but the process of talking about writing about this is harder, because the experience was all about loss of control. Someone else got to take control and it’s as if whatever part of you that you look to to make decisions or to tell you what is right and wrong— this guy was there instead.She added: "In the end, it is possible to heal from this kind of trauma and there is help. Zach provided that safe space in the documentary and I also had the support of my therapists, social workers, case workers and attorneys along the way.