The ADHD Effect on Marriage: Understand and Rebuild Your Relationship in Six Steps

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Beth starts by asking Alex if they can have a learning conversation about something that’s bothering her. She then shares in about 100 words what’s weighing on her, like “I often feel hurt by things you blurt out at me.” When she’s finished, Alex then repeats in his own words what he thinks he’s heard, without adding any of his own thoughts. Beth then confirms if he’s heard right. If not, they’ll try again. Step 3: Getting Treatment for You Both - what effective treatment looks like in a relationship (p. 145. Audio 6. Kindle loc. 2420) Having newly been diagnosed with ADHD myself I have been where some of those couples are. Still - Melissa approach the content mostly from the POV that it's the male who has ADHD and how the female suffers. My personal situation is likely impacting this review a lot - as is the fact that I listened to this as an audiobook. I almost gave it a 3 star review because of the last fifth of the book finally giving me some useful things to use to strengthen my relationship with my husband - but it was too little too late to recover my opinion of the book.

Learn more about adult ADHD. Learning more about your partner's experience will help you have more empathy and patience. As humans, the lens through which we view the world is so second nature that we often believe everyone in our lives shares our perspective. In reality, however, our points of view are highly individual. So, something obvious to you might be a complete mystery to your beloved. Help get this into the hands of young people, and some inexpensive way for average folks to be personally guided, as books and ADHD often don't mix well. Thank you, also, for your teleseminar, Melissa. It was well done. I may retrain to assist in this field, seeing the huge need. Melissa provides a nine-week couples seminar live by Zoom three times a year (fall, winter, and spring) and in a self-study version the remainder of the year. Regardless of whether you decide to work with the consulting group, we STRONGLY recommend you take the seminar. Past participants repeatedly say the course ‘is one of the best things they have ever done’ for their relationship.But the author have no mention whatsoever of how ADHD in males versus females express itself. And she uses the ADD/ADHD terms like the wind blows (or so it seems) The book has left the feeling that people with ADHD should avoid relationships all together and spend life alone. (Based on the first 4 hours of the same message)

When ADHD is part of a romantic relationship, it’s crucial to remember that the adult with ADHD is the only person who has the right to decide whether or not to seek treatment. Feelings like these are natural when you’re both under the pressure of unmanaged ADHD patterns. That’s why reconnecting with a sense of fun will give you both some much-needed time out, and will help sustain you on your journey to a happier relationship. I'm reading your book now, and it's like you've opened up our brains and jumped in. It's the most amazing, most helpful and hope-giving thing I've found..."People with ADHD are often highly creative, so you can tap into this as well. Enroll in a dance class, an animation course, a culinary workshop – whatever takes your fancy. While you’re there, embrace the opportunity to make some new friends too. Misconceptions abound regarding ADHD, especially ADHD in adults. For those who discredit the legitimacy of an ADHD diagnosis or deny that ADHD affects every aspect of a person's life, this book will offer both a scientific and personal perspective on what ADHD is and how it disrupts marriages -- often without detection. The only advice in this book I found helpful was reinforcement that marriage meetings should be happening once or twice a week, and the use of index cards to support the “ADHD partner” index card system.

Step 6: Reigniting Romance and Having Some Fun - the science and the fun stuff (p. 199. Audio 9. Kindle loc. 3297) This technique is particularly useful if you and your partner are faced with an ongoing issue that you can’t seem to resolve. It will offer you both a deeper understanding of each other’s perspectives, which you can combine with empathy to determine a mutually beneficial solution. Secondly, some of the advice was sound, but other suggestions were obviously not being provided by a professional. I just finished the book, so the first that comes to mind is her suggestion that people with ADHD might go to bed with their spouse for "cuddle time" and then stay in bed on their phone or laptop until they're ready for bed. Anyone with trouble sleeping knows that you should never look at a screen before bed, especially while you're IN bed. The fact that the author is not actually licensed in any way but is just "experienced" definitely comes through sometimes.

As consultants, we focus on what needs to be done. Yes, that often means suggested ‘homework’ between sessions to help explore strategies we think might work for you. Even when dealing with your emotional issues, we are keeping forward motion in mind: What do your feelings mean for defining what actions you and your partner might take? How do we (client and consultant) keep heading towards your most important goals? This book provides an incredibly valuable service to those struggling in a marriage with ADHD. Written by someone who has been there and knows firsthand how ADHD can disrupt a marriage, it will help couples truly understand ADHD, realize they are not alone, and teach them what specifically can be done to align together as a team to turn things around. Ms. Orlov has done a wonderful job of providing knowledge, awareness, and hope to those who sorely need it."