Strengthening My Recovery

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Other Laundry List trait 5: We live life from the standpoint of a victimizer, and are attracted to people we can manipulate and control in our important relationships. Traveler Monthly Newsletter– Announcements, news and events from around the ACA Fellowship (sent the first of every month) — Includes the quarterly With emotional sobriety, reparenting ourselves becomes a reality in our lives.With the Steps and by reparenting ourselves, we can further remove the “buttons” that have been pushed by others to manipulate us or to get a reaction out of us. Through a Loving Parent inside, we gain greater independence from codependence. We find the skills and support we need to become independent adults.

Daily Meditation and Big Red Book UK Meeting – ACA UK Daily Meditation and Big Red Book UK Meeting – ACA UK

It can even be an attempt to subconsciously control others or place responsibility outside of oneself. Example: “When you get abused, it hurts you.” Change this to: “When I got abused, it hurt me.” Sharing in the first person promotes self responsibility by divulging information only about yourself. When you are tempted to use the generic “you,” “we,” etc., try to catch yourself and replace i with “I.” With our common experiences, we find that we can help one another in ways that others cannot because we carry with us empathy and an understanding of the disease of family dysfunction." BRB p. 515ACAfellowworldtravelers.com is an International english-speaking ACA Intergroup that unites several ACA online-meetings. These meetings depend on fellows doing service as chair, secretary or host of a meeting or helping screen sharing or mic monitoring. In Chapters 1-9, Laying a Foundation for Reparenting, you will awaken your loving parent and identify and connect with your inner family. ACA is a Twelve Step, Twelve Tradition support group focused on understanding the specific behavior and attitude patterns we developed while growing up in an alcoholic or other dysfunctional environment. These patterns continue to affect us today.

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By working Step Eleven we are given another reprieve from our co-dependent thinking and behavior. We learn the difference between our will for ourselves, what we think another’s will for us might be, and God’s will. We are reminded that our Higher Power is not us, or another person, place or thing. Our lives become simplified. The question that remains for us is - ‘Am I willing to pray only for knowledge of God’s will for me, during those times when I want my will so much?’ ‘God’s will for me must be to have this job, this relationship, this car, this experience.’ This guide includes many fellowship shares about reparenting and inner child work. To help you integrate reparenting into your daily life, the guide also includes: Strengthening My Recovery is written by and for the Adult Children of Alcoholics/Dysfunctional Families Fellowship. With 365 daily shares, each paired with a meaningful quotation from the ACA Fellowship Text, this meditation book will inspire its readers. The day I realized willpower and knowledge had little or nothing to do with sobriety was the day I understood powerlessness. Sobriety was not something I could get for myself. I was forced to seek help outside myself. Sobriety is a gift of mercy and grace we receive from our Higher Power just because our Higher Power loves us. I didn’t do anything to deserve this mercy and grace. In fact, I did everything not to deserve it; and yet, I received it. And in the process of receiving undeserved mercy and grace, I learned a little something about the Higher Power I would come to know better. Chapter 22, Reparenting as a Way of Life, concludes the book with an example of how to approach reparenting as a way of life.We are asked to let go of our struggle to control, and to turn to God, as we understand God, for our direction. We meet together to share our experience, strength, hope and fear; we offer friendship and understanding. We love one another in a very special way. We welcome you to join us. Gradually we begin to recognize the negative parenting messages from our childhoods that drive our lives. We learn how to replace them with healthy behaviors. This is a first step toward “reparenting”. As we gradually reparent our selves, our outlook on life changes. We begin to look at it from an emotionally mature perspective. Ultimately we become happier, stronger, more capable people – more able to handle life. We learn to respect others and ourselves. The quality of our lives improves as we learn to define and communicate our boundaries, and insist that they be honored.

Thought for the Day | Daily Meditation | Hazelden Betty Ford

The Traditions offer wisdom on being self-supporting as a fellowship and on avoiding promotion when attracting new members. With the Twelve Traditions, we sustain ACA groups that allow the ACA Solution of reparenting one’s self to emerge and thrive. The Twelve Traditions can be found in Chapter Nineteen of the Fellowship Text also known as the Big Red Book or BRB. I’m grateful for the day I realized I could scroll through the ACA Daily Meditations in the early morning, and continue scrolling to my heart’s content through the electronic version of the ACA Big Red Book, if I need more. I can take my scared inner child to the solution, rather than to stay steeped in the problem. My phone has become the place where technology and spirituality mix. Prayer can be thought of as talking to god, for example, asking questions such as: ‘God, what is your will for me?’ Meditation can be thought of as listening for God’s guidance.

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By practicing ACA outside of meetings, we can avoid recreating our family of origin at work. We can avoid being a victim, a hero, or the invisible employee who is rarely noticed and passed over for pay raises. Without working our program, we can easily take the patterns and roles we learned at home and apply them in the workplace. We risk taking our parental programming and our false attitudes about ourselves into our working life. Even if we don’t work full-time, looking at ACA traits in the workplace can help improve our interaction in other groups or social settings. We may work part-time or have a position in a volunteer, charitable, or worship group. We may be retired and be part of a recreational group. The personality types that can be difficult for us will likely show up whenever and wherever we interact with others on a regular basis. This chapter on ACA experience in the workplace will help us focus on our program and improve our behavior in relationships wherever we go. Laundry List trait 5: We live life from the viewpoint of victims and we are attracted by that weakness in our love and friendship relationships. In this meeting cams are optional, we share popcorn style and we go into break-out rooms so everyone gets the opportunity to share. Feel free to join us anytime. Struggling with “I” statements will often reveal the hidden aspects of the issues at hand. If you truly want to disclose your feelings so that you and others can learn more about you, use an “I” statement! When sharing with an individual or as part of a group, using “I” statements can make a big difference. An “I” statement is sharing in the first person, as opposed to using words such as “we,” “they,” “us,” and “you.” At first, it may seem like an insignificant detail, but using third person statements is distancing and impersonal.